


An Apple Tree

by CschMan20



Series: Silly Naruto [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Confused Sasuke, Gen, Humor, One Shot, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 08:11:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12931146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CschMan20/pseuds/CschMan20
Summary: Discarding Shikamaru's warning, Sasuke decides to see what's wrong with Naruto.





	An Apple Tree

**Author's Note:**

> I suggest reading A Cockroach before reading this. It will make more sense...sort of.

When Sasuke entered the village that day, he didn't expect to find his friend out in the open. At the very least, seeing Naruto gathering apples didn't make any sense to him.

In the middle of the square, there was a single apple tree, and Naruto was busy collecting apples from its branches. Sasuke observed his friend quietly and right before he was about to approach him and ask his intentions, he noticed someone else was looking at the blond.

On the edge of the square, Shikamaru sat on a bench. Sasuke could feel the agitation seeping from the Nara as he neared him. "Shikamaru, what is Naruto doing?" he asked.

Shikamaru didn't look up at Sasuke; he just kept staring in the direction of the tree. "Picking apples."

Sasuke nodded. "Yes, that much is clear, but do you know why?"

Shikamaru's eyes seemed to be clouded, as if he was unable to see anything at all. "It's best if you don't ask any more questions, Sasuke. You should probably leave the village altogether."

A minor sense of concern was placed in Sasuke's mind at hearing that statement. "Is something wrong with Naruto?"

When Shikamaru answered him, Sasuke felt as if all of time had passed. "He's been…strange lately."

He was about to turn to go seek the answers from the source when Shikamaru stopped him. "Don't. I'm serious, Sasuke. You'll regret it."

Sasuke's face was stoic as he left the bench and moved to the center of the square. Naruto had just placed another apple in his basket when Sasuke stood next to him.

"Hey, Sasuke!" he greeted. "You're back! Just here for a visit?"

"Yes, for now," Sasuke answered. There didn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary to him. Shikamaru was far too emotional.

"Cool. Things have been great around here, you know. The weather sure has been nice." He plucked a ripe apple from one of the branches.

Sasuke blinked and looked up at the tree. "Naruto?"

"Hm?"

"Why are you picking apples?" Behind him, Sasuke could  _feel_ Shikamaru's ire. It was clear the man was not well. He probably required medical attention.

Naruto turned to his friend and presented an innocent look. "I ate all my other ones, Sasuke, so I'm getting more."

Sasuke glanced at the giant basket brimming with apples. "Do you really need so many apples?"

"Yep," he stated simply.

"Why?"

"Say, Sasuke, you ever seen an elephant?" Naruto asked, ignoring his friend's question.

"A what?"

"I read about them in a book the other day. You'd be surprised what you can learn from books, Sasuke. They're supposed to be these huge beasts with long noses."

Sasuke was experiencing a sensation he was unaccustomed to in recent years. "What does that have to do with picking apples?"

Naruto pursed his lips. "When did I say they involved apples?"

"You didn't. That's why I'm asking."

"I ate all my apples, you know," Naruto continued. "Delicious fruit if you ask me."

Sasuke could feel his irritation rising. "I didn't ask you at all if they were  _delicious_. I asked why you were picking them in the first place."

"Because I ate them a—"

"Yes, I got that, but why?"

Naruto averted his gaze. "Well, I got this cockroach problem and—"

"Cockroaches!" Sasuke blurted impulsively. He noticed civilians in the area beginning to stare at them. He took a deep breath and calmed himself. "Naruto, please. Enough of this nonsense. Why are you talking about cockroaches all of a sudden?"

Naruto grabbed a particular apple and rubbed its skin gingerly. "You know, Sasuke, when I was a kid I used to put pebbles in my pockets to weigh them down."

There was a moment of silence between the two shinobi. During that time, Sasuke was positive he heard Shikamaru groaning from his spot on the bench. "All right, Naruto," he added coolly, "I'll bite. Why did you put pebbles in your pockets?"

"Because apples are too big," Naruto answered with no hesitation.

"Ah, so there's a connection between these apples and the pebbles in your pockets?" His voice was sounding far too eager for his liking.

"Yeah, my pockets were pretty heavy back then, I'll tell ya. Choji's were probably heavier, but that's okay. I think I did a good job."

"Naruto…did you hear me? I asked if—"

He must not have heard him because Naruto was already reaching for another apple. "Man, apples are such interesting fruits."

Sasuke could really feel it now. He was starting to lose it. "Naruto, I'm starting to lose patience with this—"

Naruto looked to his friend. "I'm so glad you're back, Sasuke. It's been so long."

"Yes, thank you, but—"

His friend was extending one of those red things towards his face. "You want an apple, Sasuke?"

The Uchiha swatted the apple out of Naruto's hand. "No!" he shouted. "I don't want your infernal fruit! What the hell is going on, Naruto!?" People were really starting to stare now, but he didn't care anymore.

He could hear Shikamaru calling to him. "Don't get angry!" he announced from the bench. "I tried that already! It only makes it worse!"

Sasuke ignored him and watched as Naruto reached down to pick up the discarded apple. He didn't seem to be startled by Sasuke's outburst. "I sure wish I could see an elephant…"

"Why do you keep mentioning elephants?"

"I think I've talked about apples more."

"What? OK, whatever. But why are you picking them?"

"I'm not picking elephants, silly," said Naruto.

"That does it! Now you listen to me, you stupid bastard! I'm tired of repeating myself!"

Naruto shrugged. "I'm tired of it, too, honestly."

Sasuke's eyes became as red as apples. "Why the  _fuck_ are you picking those disgusting, shit-infested, repugnant excuses for food?!" Parents were picking their children up and covering their ears around them. The civilians all began to scatter.

Naruto blinked and smiled. "Well, you see, I ate them all, and I need them to scare off the cockroaches."

And just like that, the anger melted from the Uchiha, and he stared at his friend quizzically. Shikamaru was off cackling like a madman in the distance.

Sasuke's voice was dry as he said: "Ah, I see. Then would you kindly tell me how they repel cockroaches?"

"Well, they're too big for your pockets, you see, so—eh? Sasuke? Sasuke, you all right? Hey, Sasuke?"

Sasuke wasn't looking at Naruto anymore. He wasn't looking at anything really. His eyes were clouded, as if he was unable to see anything at all. He lumbered back to where Shikamaru was and sat down at the bench with him.

"I should have listened to you," Sasuke admitted after they had watched Naruto for a while.

"It's OK," Shikamaru replied. "You know now."

They continued to watch their insane friend gather apples from the tree in the middle of the square.

**Author's Note:**

> Another ridiculous drabble I made after a severe lack of sleep...I'm so sorry. I don't know why I made this.
> 
> Thanks for reading.
> 
> -CM


End file.
